xiao, in Confucianism, the attitude of obedience, devotion, and care toward one’s parents and elder family members that is the basis of individual moral conduct and social harmony. Xiao consists in putting the needs of parents and family elders over self, spouse, and children, deferring to parents’ judgment, and observing toward them the prescribed behavioral proprieties (li).
Xiao was rooted in China’s feudal social structure, in which land was held by large clans whose internal life was structured hierarchically and patriarchally. Confucius raised xiao to a moral precept by citing it as the basis of ren (“humanity”), the cultivated love of other people that was the Confucian moral ideal. Xiao is not simple obedience but rather deference, and on occasion it even entails remonstrance or gentle admonition. He also delineated the importance of xiao for both family harmony and sociopolitical stability and facilitated its practice by reemphasizing the rites and behaviours associated with it.
The concept, rendered kō, was adopted in Japan during the 17th century, when Confucianism became the official doctrine of the Tokugawa shogunate.