Gelett Burgess (born Jan. 30, 1866, Boston, Mass., U.S.—died Sept. 17, 1951, Carmel, Calif.) was an American humorist and illustrator, best known for a single, early, whimsical quatrain:
I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.
Burgess was educated as an engineer and worked briefly for a railroad in that capacity. Between 1891 and 1894 he taught topographical drawing at the University of California. In 1895 Burgess became the founding editor of Lark, a humour magazine, and in 1897 he began to publish books of his self-illustrated whimsical writings.
Burgess’ humour was based upon the sudden break of ideas: a substitution of the unexpected for the commonplace. Among his best-known works are Goops and How to Be Them (1900) and subsequent books on Goops (bad-mannered children). He is credited with adding several words to the English language, including blurb. Among his many other works are Are You a Bromide? (1906), Why Men Hate Women (1927), and Look Eleven Years Younger (1937).