10 Common Questions Kids Have About School, Life, and Being a Student

Much of what you need to know to live successfully as an adult does not come naturally; it has to be learned and studied and memorized. Children learn to speak naturally, for example, by listening to those around them, but reading and writing must be specifically taught. The complicated process of learning the alphabet and the sounds it represents, putting letter sounds together to make words, and learning the meaning of words in order to read and write are skills that only come with special effort. Knowing how to figure out problems that involve numbers and learning how the world is run or how nature works are important things to learn too.

Although your parents might be able to teach you these things, they would need many hours each day to do it. Most parents work outside the home and wouldn’t have the time to give proper instruction, though some kids are homeschooled by their parents instead of going to school. In the United States the public school system provides years of free education for children. (Children who go to private schools or whose parents have received special permission to teach them at home are exceptions.) Teachers, who are specially trained to know what children should learn and how and when, are the people who do the job of educating. To ensure that children learn what they need to know, state governments require that all children go to school for a certain number of years (usually until age 16), and kids who skip school a lot can find themselves in court.

America’s Founding Fathers debated a bit as to whether to force children to attend schools, and they decided to leave such decisions to individual families and local and state governments. The words “education” and “school” do not appear in any of the country’s founding documents, such as the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, or the Bill of Rights. Some of the most famous inventors, writers, and politicians were self-taught, learning through conversations and reading as well as through mentoring or apprenticeships. In 1850 Massachusetts became the first state to institute a compulsory schooling law.

Some children do better in school than others for many reasons. All kids have different talents and abilities, and some of these just show up better in school. Some children may be naturally better at reading and writing, working with numbers, and storing and using information. Some children are very organized, good at managing their time, and diligent about doing their homework. Most schoolwork requires these skills, so kids who are strong in these areas are likely to be better students. Still, most kids have enough ability to learn the basic skills taught in school, things that they will need to know to get along well in the world once they graduate. Kids succeed by putting a lot of time and effort into their studies, by getting help when they need it, and by not giving up!

Learning disabilities are disorders that keep people from understanding or using spoken or written language in typical ways. Learning disabilities are not due to physical handicaps like blindness or deafness. Instead, they have to do with the way the brain perceives things. About 10 percent of all children in the United States have some type of learning disability. The most common of these are dyslexia, where the brain has trouble understanding words, sometimes reversing the order of letters and words, and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), which is marked by difficulty with concentration. Special teaching methods have been developed to help such children learn successfully despite their disorders. The teaching is done either in the regular classroom, in special classes, or at a specialized school.

The hours in a school day and the amount of time a teacher can spend individually with students are limited. As a result, teachers need the understanding and help of their students, parents, and families in supporting classroom instruction and learning outside school hours. Homework has been part of school life since the beginning of formal schooling in the United States. It is important because it can improve your thinking and memory. It can help you develop positive study habits and skills that will serve you well throughout your life. Homework also can encourage you to use time well, learn independently, and take responsibility for your work. And if you have an adult supervise you, it benefits them as well. It helps your mom and dad see what you are learning in school and helps your family communicate with you and your teachers.

Although it might feel overwhelming during your first few days at a new school, it’s easier to make friends than you might think. Try to behave in a way that you think would make a good friend, by being inviting, smiling, and making eye contact, and people will naturally greet you. If you see someone you recognize from class, the basketball court, or the community, give a smile or say hi. Introduce yourself. Tell them your name and where you’re from. Asking questions such as “What sports do you like to play?” or “Have you been here since kindergarten?” is a good way to begin a friendship.

And it’s always good “friend etiquette” to do something nice for someone, such as saving someone a seat, saying hi in the hall, or offering congratulations on a good test score. Even a simple compliment, such as “I like your backpack,” can go a long way toward making a friendship. You could join a sports team, engage in school activities, such as choir or theater, or form or join a study group. All are great ways to meet potential friends, establish common bonds, and get academic support. And guidance counselors can arrange for “buddies” with similar interests and the same classes to introduce new students to the campus the first few days of school.

And here’s a fun tip: Look for other people who are new to the school. You’ll discover you’re probably not the only new student. At the very least, you’ll share the fact that you’re both in an unfamiliar environment. And if you are starting at a new school in start-up year, almost everyone is new! Talk about your old school, your new school, your opinions, grades, teachers, and interests with a wide variety of people, and you’ll soon find you have more than one new friend, maybe even several or many!

Sports, games, and competitions (such as spelling bees and gymnastics competitions) always have winners and losers. When you agree to play a game, you have to prepare yourself for the fact that you might not win. If you can see the game as a way to improve your skills and to have fun, you may even be able to admire (and learn from) the talent of the person who beats you and congratulate him or her. After all, it’s only a game.

So remember that when you play a game, the object is not to win but to participate well. Play fairly, with courtesy and respect for your teammates and opponents, and with your best effort. It is also important to show good behavior following the game, whether you win or lose, which is why many coaches have all teammates shake hands with or “high-five” members of the opposite team after a game).

Lots of kids have been picked on by a bully, for many different reasons. Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways, and can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking to taking lunch money or personal items. If you’ve been the target of a bully, you know it can be very scary and upsetting to be teased, hit, or threatened. Sometimes it helps to simply ignore what the bully is saying; most bullies tease or threaten other kids to get a reaction from those they tease, and if they get no reaction at all, it’s a lot less fun for them. It usually helps to have friends around. A kid walking alone is more vulnerable than a group of kids. And even if you don’t feel confident, sometimes acting confident helps. If you hold your head high and tell a bully to stop calling you names, you may just surprise that bully into silence. One approach to avoid is responding to bullying with fighting or bullying back—aggressive responses will only make matters worse.

Yes. Even though it may feel awkward or embarrassing, it helps to tell your parents, a teacher, or a counselor about a bullying experience. A trusted adult can make you feel better by explaining why bullies behave the way they do and by reassuring you that what a bully says about you has nothing to do with who you really are. Adults can help keep you safe if you’re being threatened and come up with solutions to deal with the bullying. Many states have bullying laws and policies, and many schools have programs in place that educate parents and kids about bullying.

If you are on a playground and you see a kid hurting or making fun of another kid, your first impulse might be to turn around and pretend you don’t see it. But imagine how that bullied kid is feeling, and you’ll know that the right thing to do is to try to put a stop to it. The best thing to do is to find a teacher or another adult and tell that person what is happening. Or, if the situation doesn’t feel like it could threaten your personal safety, the best thing you can do is stand up for the kid being bullied. Kids who make fun of others usually expect to get a laugh from their friends, and if you show the bully that the teasing isn’t funny and that you support the person being teased, it could end the teasing.