Research findings employing the NPI describe a portrait of narcissists as possessing inflated and grandiose self-images. It is not surprising then that narcissists report having high self-esteem. However, these positive self-images appear to be based on biased and inflated perceptions of their accomplishments and their distorted views of what others think about them. For example, they overestimate their physical attractiveness relative to judges’ ratings of their attractiveness, and they overestimate their intelligence relative to objective assessments of their IQ. In one experiment, narcissistic and nonnarcissistic men (as identified on the basis of their NPI results) were interviewed by a woman whose responses were scripted; thus, all the men received the same social feedback. The narcissistic men, however, assessed the woman’s attraction to them more highly than did nonnarcissistic men. Other findings indicate that narcissists take greater credit for good outcomes even when those outcomes occurred by luck or chance.
Although narcissists’ self-esteem is high, it is also fragile and insecure, as evidenced by its variability. It fluctuates from moment to moment, day to day, more than that of less-narcissistic people. Other research indicates that narcissists are more likely to have high explicit (conscious, self-reported) self-esteem and low implicit (nonconscious, or automatic) self-esteem. This finding suggests that although narcissists describe themselves in positive terms, their nonconscious feelings about themselves are not so positive.
Narcissists’ positive but insecure self-views lead them to be more attentive and reactive to feedback from other people. However, not just any response or feedback from others is important to narcissists; they are eager to learn that others admire and look up to them. Narcissists value admiration and superiority more than being liked and accepted. Studies find that narcissists’ self-esteem depends upon the extent to which they feel admired. Moreover, narcissists pursue admiration from others by attempting to manipulate the impressions they create in others. They make self-promoting and self-aggrandizing statements and attempt to solicit regard and compliments from those around them. They also respond with anger and resentment when they feel threatened by others. They are more likely to respond aggressively on such occasions and derogate those who threaten them, even when such hostile responding jeopardizes the relationship.
Narcissists attempt to solicit admiration from those around them, and their hostility when others fail to respond appropriately contributes to the disturbed interpersonal relationships that are a hallmark of the disorder. Research has shown that people describe their narcissistic acquaintances as trying to impress others by bragging and putting down others. These behaviours are initially successful in that those who interact with narcissists find them to be competent and attractive. However, over time these partners come to view the narcissist as arrogant and hostile.
Findings from a range of studies suggest a picture of the narcissists as people who use their friends to feel good about themselves. They pander for attention and admiration to support self-images that are positive but easily threatened. They are constantly on alert for even the smallest slight that they perceive as disrespect. Perhaps most important, narcissists’ striving to self-enhance at the expense of their friends ultimately costs them the friendships.